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I Cry Because it Hurts


When we think of grieving we only think of losing some one physically.. we mourn over their physical body no longer being present. Grieving is a process that we should learn to go through in our everyday lives. Grieve when your feelings are hurt , that toxic friendship you walked away from , the relationships you couldn’t save, the relationship that you’re the only one fighting for . Grieve the job you didn’t get , the opportunity you missed and the chance you didn’t take. Grieve the child you never out grew , grieve the trauma you never let go of, grieve the relationship you wish you had with your parents. My point is stop holding on to things you can’t change. Stop allowing things to stick to you without processing the lost or hit you’re taking from it. Stage One : DENIAL AND ISOLATION. Go through this process full force take time to realize what happened and how you’re going to process it next. We hate change and it’s often brought on by a ton of emotion because either we don’t process or we don’t want to change what we’re so familiar with. Stage Two: ANGER. It hurts , we tend to avoid feeling pain that causes emotional response for one it’s either our faults or someone else’s. Yes you allow people in your life to hurt / harm you or treat you in ways that result to disrespect and insecurities. That is indeed something to be angry about but not always a chance to point the finger, be mad at yourself for allowing it. Stage Three: BARGAINING. If you think “maybe if...” you are indeed bargaining and looking to save yourself from this grief. The damage is done and not allowing yourself to see that will result in greater pain. You can not go back and change your childhood or the way your parents treated you. You can not go back and prevent that friend from backstabbing you. You cannot go back and prevent your significant other from breaking your heart. Think maybe if.. I continue to love myself I’ll get through this.Maybe if I let go I can move forward. Looking back and accepting what you cannot change is not a weakness it is apart of the grieving process. You are also not weak for wanting to keep the person around or salvage a situation. You are grieving and it is a process. You are grieving the person you were when you allowed it, grieving the you that didn’t know how to grieve, grieving the you that held on to pain and chose not to feel resulting into a cold and lifeless person. The action of crying and feeling your heart actually ache is normal. Some of us will fall into Stage Four: DEPRESSION. This phase can be drawn out because we deny we ever entered it. We deny ourselves the right to feel, the right to soak in our sorrow and curse those that put us there instead we live inside of ourselves. We reside in our own thoughts and expect those around us to know what we're feeling. We do not express. We do not address. We do not allow. We just ignore and expect it all to go away. We play victim and never see how we are the enemy. How we have contributed. None of what you may be grieving is your fault but how you carry it is. How you allow it to impact you is. How you pack it up and bring it around others is. Im here to tell you to let it go. Cry it out and move on.


 

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